Girls and Women on the Autism Spectrum. A Whole Life in Wonderland.
Finding oneself is a difficult task... In the 'Jungle of Life,' regardless of age and the place where we live, we are surrounded by an invisible bubble of social pressure.
Women on the autism spectrum, like Alice in Wonderland, get lost and make slow movements—forward, backward—searching for a path and a way to find themselves among people. In today's post, a multitude of words about Asperger's Syndrome in Girls and Women—from the General to the Specific...
Hungry for knowledge... I invite you to continue reading.
In the sea of human opinions and outstretched hands, asking for something and questioning why, there will always be someone who thinks they know better how we are or how we should be.
Too short, too fat, too cool, too… too sensitive—concerned about people and what they will say, too disinterested/too unempathetic.
People on the autism spectrum are like divers without full gear, during their underwater journey in the 'World of People' they lack a compass, a map, natural abilities to be among people 'simply', without effort."
There's no one way to be autistic.
BBC
"We can imagine what happens to them when they dive too deeply and too intensely.
The World Through the Eyes of a Woman on the Autism Spectrum.
Women on the autism spectrum, compared to their neurotypical peers, see and experience the 'World' differently from both a micro and macro perspective. They become ballasted between dysregulated senses, facts and logic, and social nuances and unspoken contents.
Simple things may seem insurmountable to them. They often hear, 'Only you don't understand this... No one else has such problems.' 'What's there not to understand?' 'Do you need help? Why don't you ask for it?' Other times, they surprise with their brilliance, being ahead of the group - 'You've already done this? How could you remember all that?' - they stand out—they are 'Different'."
Being among people, women on the autism spectrum actively strive to understand and adapt. They spend hours reflecting on how they behaved and whether they met expectations.
Fake News...
Women and girls on the autism spectrum often want to have friends and acquaintances just like their neurotypical peers.
Individuals deeper on the autism spectrum may not realize that their behaviour can cause surprise or sometimes amusement. They are confronted with the sad consequences of understanding and reacting to the world in a different, often non-random, sometimes literal way of thinking. Loneliness is an element of life for women on the autism spectrum. Sometimes it is a loneliness by choice, other times a sad coincidence of circumstances and inability.
Girls on the autism spectrum often become a part of their peer group's history, remaining on the outside.
If they do not have the support of a guide in their journey through the world of people—often a specialist (psychotherapist) and awareness of their deficits—they feel overwhelmed and lost. It happens that they suffocate with compressed air—filled with the atmosphere of flirting, disputes, gossip, fashion, etc. Very often, they unconsciously escape into a world that compensates for their confusion—the world of logic and favourite activities and fixations—a fantasy world drawn with crayons on paper, series like manga, books about superheroes, the world of animals, computers, facts, and encyclopedias.
Then they surface to breathe. They come ashore on a deserted island, where they feel like themselves.
The Concept of Neurodiversity
Neurodiversity is a concept referring to tolerance and acceptance, as well as recognizing the value in diverse and different ways of viewing the world and experiencing/processing information from the world.
The definition of neurodiversity creates a place to live for every person. It provides space for crafting a unique definition of each human being.
For more on this topic:
- Science Magazine "Science needs neurodiversity," April 2024
- Simon Baron-Cohen, "The Pattern Seekers: How Autism Drives Human Invention"
Neurodiversity, which includes the autism spectrum in its definition, is a pathway to evolution. Our differences drive the flywheel of change... There is still a need for tolerance and cooperation—this is an area that merits further work.
Diagnosis - A Story with a Diamond.
"The Jungle of Life" shapes and distorts the image of the material we receive in our genes. The environment in which we live sometimes drowns out or hides a person's innate predispositions; other times, it allows the best aspects to stand out.
Like the story with a diamond—found, unearthed, polished—it becomes an object of focus. Similarly, a person is processed, experiences, and learns to become the best version of themselves—to become a precious diamond. The value of this treasure is realized on the day of birth.
Many women on the autism spectrum are resilient; thanks to their persistence, they are irreplaceable. Often, their extraordinary abilities contribute to the progress of the world.
Ada Lovelace is considered the world's first programmer—her algorithms are recognized as the first computer program. She has become an inspiration for many, and in her honour, the Ada Lovelace Institute was established, which supports the public in new technologies, including artificial intelligence. She was atypical, in many perspectives.
It happens that with an accumulation of recurring problems, in interpersonal relationships and sensory overload, the need for self-identification and evaluation becomes pressing. Women on the autism spectrum usually begin the initial processing of this information themselves. Sometimes they are motivated to seek further understanding by their surroundings, family, or employers. Initially, they search for information gropingly— "I always knew I was different; I just couldn't name it."
"In the age of the internet," psychological literature and films can serve as guides in the process of self-identification. When women on the autism spectrum encounter psychoeducational materials related to the topic, they often experience relief as they begin to understand themselves.
An initial self-diagnosis might be a psychological test, such as the AQ Test. It's important to note that for many women on the autism spectrum, the value of psychological tests directed at detecting autism spectrum conditions can be limited. For instance, a relatively low score on the AQ Test does not always correlate with the actual diagnostic situation and the final diagnosis. Women are diagnosed differently compared to atypical males. In the end, there is no single diagnostic tool that proves effective for diagnosing both men and women on the autism spectrum. Diagnosis is a complex process that is best conducted in specialized facilities.
Finding and organizing information, especially in terms of the quantity and intensity of autism spectrum traits, and identifying any co-occurring conditions—such as ADHD or depressive disorders—helps individuals find understanding and peace.
During their life journey, women and girls on the autism spectrum often require support, particularly in acquiring tools to explore the world—such as communication skills and understanding the language of neurotypical individuals. For those on the higher end of the autism spectrum, independent work and caregiver support may not suffice. Working with a therapist knowledgeable about autism spectrum disorders allows these women to recognize their specific competencies and showcase their unique strengths to the world, such as exceptional skills, for example in IT or the arts.
Potential losses associated with lack of diagnosis of atypical traits.
Refining and identifying is a process inevitably associated with diagnosis - self-diagnosis, then, according to the needs of the individual, specialist diagnosis.
Not always does self-identification of atypical traits occur – and that's a pity. Diagnoses and support provide the space to spread one's wings, to understand "what's going on?" and "how can one live differently – simpler, expending less energy daily?" Working with a specialist is also about finding answers on how to develop one's potential, not living in the shadow of neurotypical people while trying to adapt. It's also learning how not to be ignorant and avoid the costs of neglecting social norms and losing oneself amidst human interactions – for some purpose or reason.
Fact...
Statistics show that individuals on the autism spectrum often live in the shadow of their neurotypical peers due to communication deficits and difficulty reading social situations. They earn less and hold lower-ranking positions. They struggle with changing jobs due to concerns about prolonged and often disrupted adaptation processes to new environments. They fear interpersonal problems, hindering their development compared to their neurotypical peers. It's not uncommon for them to experience bullying from early childhood.
Spreading knowledge about the autism spectrum provides room for change.
Education breaks down barriers of knowledge—showing that things can be different.
Education enables finding a path to understand where to find glasses for social shortsightedness.
A question worth 100 points...Why wasn't I diagnosed with autism spectrum in childhood, only in adulthood—especially when I sought specialized help?
Women on the autism spectrum are an underdiagnosed group. Many women exhibit symptoms of atypicality that aren't acknowledged loudly—they don't have a diagnosis, even though they seek specialized help, often starting in childhood.
There are many reasons for this state of affairs. "Social masks" worn by women and girls on the autism spectrum to conceal their atypical traits make accurate diagnosis difficult. Specialists' knowledge about the diagnostic presentation of autism spectrum in women is still insufficient. Understanding autism spectrum as a continuum of symptoms is common.
While searching the internet, I came across the Nobel Prize website. Reviewing video recordings and reading biographies of many laureates, I speculate that some may be individuals on the autism spectrum. Of course, this is only speculation, but as practice shows with autism spectrum, it often correlates with specific and exceptional skills and thinking "out of the box." Many individuals on the spectrum, thanks to their high intelligence and a supportive environment provided by caregivers and later themselves, develop strategies to cope with the challenges of autism spectrum. However, without specialist help, they may adopt strategies requiring high energy expenditure and still struggle to answer the question, "I am different—what does that mean for me? Why is it so?"
For these reasons alone, it's worthwhile to discuss more broadly about neurodiversity, acceptance, support, and to spread knowledge on the topic.
Especially at the beginning of a young lady's developmental path, it's important to be attentive because one never knows what her life is meant to be and what she can write in her biography.
In summary, women and girls on the autism spectrum— you are not alone.
It's time to change the world.
Well-known diagnosed women on the autism spectrum:
Temple Grandin - Professor of animal science and advocate for animal rights, known for innovations in designing more humane slaughter systems. Grandin is also the author of several books on autism and ways individuals on the spectrum can harness their unique talents.
Greta Thunberg - A young climate activist from Sweden who gained international fame leading school strikes for climate action. Greta has publicly spoken about her autism, calling it her "superpower".
The disarming case to act right now on climate change | Greta Thunberg -
Hannah Gadsby - An Australian comedian and author who gained international attention with her Netflix special "Nanette," where she discusses themes related to her experiences as a homosexual person and someone on the autism spectrum.
Daryl Hannah - An American actress known for roles in films like "Splash" and "Kill Bill." She has publicly spoken about her life with autism, emphasizing how she struggled for many years to conceal her challenges from society.
Donna Williams (Polly Samuel) - Former Australian writer, artist, and speaker, known for her autobiographical series of books including "Nobody Nowhere," which describes her experiences as a person on the autism spectrum. Williams was also an educator in the field of autism, promoting deeper understanding of the spectrum.
Judith Newman - Author of the book "To Siri with Love," which discusses her son Gus, who has autism, and his unique relationship with Siri, Apple's voice assistant. Newman, though not on the spectrum herself, has contributed to raising awareness about autism through her writing.
Liane Holliday Willey - Educator and author of the book "Pretending to be Normal," which describes her life with Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism. Her work helps to understand how women with autism can cope with social and sensory challenges.
Jennifer O'Toole - Founder of Asperkids, an educational organization focused on the needs of children with Asperger's syndrome and their families. O'Toole, who is herself on the autism spectrum, has also written a series of books aimed at supporting children on the autism spectrum.
Jessica-Jane Applegate - British Paralympic swimmer who won a gold medal at the 2012 London Paralympics. Her autism diagnosis has not hindered her from achieving athletic success. Her determination and skills have inspired many people, both on and off the autism spectrum.
Heather Kuzmich - American model and contestant on the reality show "America's Next Top Model." Heather openly spoke about her Asperger's syndrome during the show, contributing to increased awareness about autism, especially within the fashion industry.
Dani Bowman - Founder of DaniMation Entertainment, an animation company that promotes employment for people with autism. Bowman, who is on the autism spectrum herself, started her animation career at the age of 14 and has since become a strong advocate for showcasing talents and opportunities for individuals on the spectrum in the creative industry.
Fiona Pettit O'Leary - Irish activist and founder of Autistic Rights Together organization. As a person on the autism spectrum and a mother of autistic children, Fiona is a vocal advocate for the rights of autistic individuals, fighting against pseudoscientific "treatments" and interventions that may harm people on the spectrum.
Girls and women on the autism spectrum in the 'World of People' up closeA lifetime in Wonderland
Alice in Wonderland (1903) - Lewis Carroll | BFI National Archive
British film institute - Youtube
Many women on the autism spectrum, when among people, feel somewhat like Alice in Wonderland.
Their behaviours and interactions with others, often make people confused, and the rules governing human interactions resemble a stack of incomprehensible and tangled correlations on a roundabout. In their efforts to function in the world of interpersonal relationships, they find themselves standing on their heads. They strive to adopt the right perspective and focus on "important matters, for the majority."
Alice may feel that the world of people is intriguing yet unpredictable, and therefore frightening. Thousands of thoughts may race through her mind:
"People are illogical."
"People won't understand me."
"People and their emotions are a bit like lunatics."
"I am different. They might notice and reject me."
"I need to try hard and mould myself to be 'digestible and acceptable.'"
In Alice, there may arise a need to create a persona - to don a mask and costume that, like camouflage, hides her uniqueness. She is constantly in search of an antidote - while among people, she wants to behave like the majority.
Sometimes they adopt a different strategy. "This isn't for me - I won't grasp these tangled nuances - I prefer solitude - silence and peace."
These are typical thoughts that pass through the tired minds of individuals on the autism spectrum.
In the maze of encountered characters during her life's journey, a woman on the autism spectrum adopts various strategies to survive in the "jungle of life". Sometimes Alice seeks a guide, a positive companion, and in this way tries to ground herself in reality, simultaneously warding off loneliness and confusion.
At times, she remains emotionally and mentally on the sidelines, assuming roles among people where she feels great, such as an English teacher, caregiver, coordinator, excellent athlete, or scientist. Other times, she lives adjacent to it all, creating a safe alternative. She immerses herself in the world of favourite activities - films, books, art, music, theatre, car brands - the list could go on and on. Here, she feels safe, replaying interactions seen or experienced with people - here, she sets the rules - here, she is secure. Some women opt out of human interaction altogether and devote themselves to interactions with animals.
Getting Closer... Following the White Rabbit, she invites you on a journey to the World of Alice in Wonderland - the Aspie World."
Alice in Wonderland –
1951 rok reżyseria - Hamilton Luske, Clyde Geronimi
„I'm Late & Down the Rabbit Hole”
"The Rabbit Hole... I jump in or get pushed in...I'm falling Down...
I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, I need to belong... I need to grow."
Addressing the needs of women and girls on the autism spectrum is inherently linked to answering the question 'Why do I need the World of People? What significance do I have for People?'"
Girls on the autism spectrum begin their journey into the world of human interactions much like Alice following the White Rabbit - driven by needs. Surrounded by the care of mothers, fathers, grandmothers, or struggling for the proverbial "toy in the sandbox," they leap into the rabbit hole - the realm of peer and familial relationships. Sometimes reluctant to explore it - they are pushed in by caregivers and situations.
As young girls, women on the autism spectrum may present themselves in diverse ways, depending on their innate temperament and level of autism spectrum symptoms.
Some may be relegated to the drawer - the quiet/invisible girl in the corner of the room. Such individuals often go undiagnosed during childhood. A girl who speaks only when absolutely necessary does not pose a problem and does not stand out.
Girls on the autism spectrum begin their journey into the world of human interactions much like Alice following the White Rabbit - driven by needs. Surrounded by the care of mothers, fathers, grandmothers, or struggling for the proverbial "toy in the sandbox," they leap into the rabbit hole - the realm of peer and familial relationships. Sometimes reluctant to explore it - they are pushed in by caregivers and situations.
Many girls on the autism spectrum respond with "I don't know" to most questions. They say "I don't know" because they truly don't understand the world as neurotypical individuals do. Sometimes, saying "I don't know" provides a safe, logical response that ensures they won't be bombarded with further questions or continue a conversation. Other times, saying "I don't know" is an automatic, stereotypical or echolalic response that offers a sense of security. Some of these girls have a hidden world they retreat to in their minds or even an imaginary friend.
Due to temperament traits and sometimes coexisting conditions like ADHD, some girls on the autism spectrum may exhibit behaviours stereotypically associated with males. They might form "gangs with the boys," enjoying activities like pushing, jumping, and roughhousing. Such behaviour often unsettles those around them because society expects girls to play with dolls and like pink, not dinosaurs and baggy pants. Confusion and disapproval can arise when instead of pushing a doll in a stroller, a girl turns it into a weapon in a fight with boys.
Joining the group of girls on the autism spectrum are young scientists - interested in facts, specifics, and logic. Their favourite way to spend time is reading non-fiction literature, preferably secluded in a library where there are no peers to disturb them. They immerse themselves in information about their interests and avoid people, not following peer trends because they find them unappealing.
As young girls, women on the autism spectrum may present themselves in diverse ways, depending on their innate temperament and level of autism spectrum symptoms.
Some may be relegated to the drawer - the quiet/invisible girl in the corner of the room. Such individuals often go undiagnosed during childhood. A girl who speaks only when absolutely necessary does not pose a problem and does not stand out.
We have girls on the autism spectrum who are literature enthusiasts, for example, fans of fantasy such as J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter" series or "Warriors" by Erin Hunter. They surround themselves with materials and act out scenes from their favourite books in their minds and sometimes in real life. They breathe calmly and steadily, transporting themselves to a world they control and understand.
Exploring deeper behind the White Rabbit...
The teenage years through the eyes of a girl on the autism spectrum.
Exploring deeper behind the White Rabbit...
The teenage years through the eyes of a girl on the autism spectrum.
As we know from Lewis Carroll's tale "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," the White Rabbit runs swiftly – the world of people, especially in positive developmental acceleration, moves relentlessly.
Teenage girls on the autism spectrum, facing this acceleration, sometimes freeze in place out of fear of the unknown, unaware that their peers are progressing ahead. They may not realize that what was once "okay" – like collecting stuffed animals – is no longer approved by their peers as they enter their teens. Emotionally, they often lag behind their peers in development. Despite this delay, whether willingly or unwillingly, they find themselves delving into deeper realms of the wonderland – a higher level of "misunderstanding" in interpersonal relationships.
The mental birth of a teenage girl on the autism spectrum is often a painful process. Diagnostic experience shows that during this time, girls frequently experience crises and may seek specialized help. The delayed process of assimilation and self-identification as a member of the group in lively and rapid intimate interaction poses challenges and questions.
Like Alice, teenage girls on the autism spectrum stand at the doors to Wonderland – trying different ways to be accepted and open the doors to a higher level of peer relationships. The social pressure associated with adolescence reaches and affects them deeply.
Changes
"Wonderland"
full of Inconstancy
I am full of
Inconstancy, the World full of Inconstancy...
A strong need for stability and consistency makes unexpected and new things overwhelming for women on the autism spectrum. Change, as defined by women on the autism spectrum, encompasses changes in the environment, oneself, changes related to maturation, in relationships, and interpersonal dynamics. Even new positives are something that escapes control, so emotionally, we are at a disadvantage. New good things come at a high energy cost.
Moving to a new place - sometimes even changing the room decor and necessary renovations - is an event for which one must prepare thoroughly, absorbing a huge amount of energy. Among individuals on the autism spectrum, there are those who notice the movement and rearrangement of even small elements of decor, not to mention relocation itself.
Exceptionally painful consequences arise from resistance to change in interpersonal relationships. Initiating and maintaining relationships. For this reason, every person by her side, women on the autism spectrum treat as a treasure. Even when they realize they are in a toxic relationship, which is not obvious and often happens only with the support of close people, ending/changing/reformulating relationships can be problematic for them. Problems are often compounded by a deficit in asking for help and difficulty in verifying their own needs, as well as communication issues.
Existential Questions
The developmental need for exploration broken by fear of the Unknown = destabilization. Alice lost in Wonderland seeks answers to existential questions, just like every human. "Who am I?" "Who should I be?" "Why am I here?" "Where am I, where are other people?"
Due to deficits related to self-identification and mentalization, very often, it hangs and intuitively follows people from the environment - it plays characters / roles / people.
Exceptionally painful consequences arise from resistance to change in interpersonal relationships. Initiating and maintaining relationships. For this reason, every person by her side, women on the autism spectrum treat as a treasure. Even when they realize they are in a toxic relationship, which is not obvious and often happens only with the support of close people, ending/changing/reformulating relationships can be problematic for them. Problems are often compounded by a deficit in asking for help and difficulty in verifying their own needs, as well as communication issues.
Imitating/trying - it's nothing unusual, it happens during adolescence - the key is to search for one's own version of themselves. Important and differentiating is the scale of imitation - for some women on the autism spectrum, imitation can reach extreme levels - such as imitating tone of voice, movements, or literally quoting selected individuals.
Sometimes, they stop seeking themselves altogether and escape into familiar and liked activities, for example, Korean culture, which might be introduced through vlogs like "Pyra in Korea" or the chords of K-pop music.
To find refuge, one might delve into the world of manga, attend Pyrkon conventions, or explore Japanese variations on "Alice in Wonderland" by Agnieszka Mróz through blog entries.
They may also seek the aforementioned guide - someone approachable who can show them how to navigate social interactions to fit in.
However, Alice in Danger
Unfortunately, if the guide turns out to have ulterior motives, a teenage girl on the autism spectrum could easily become a victim of exploitation. Therefore, it's important to educate and seek answers to questions about interpersonal relationships from trusted sources and individuals.
For example, websites dedicated to self-discovery in the autism spectrum and related issues and difficulties, including those related to adolescence and sexuality:
- Autism Women's Foundation - Facebook and website.
- WUJ - Sarah Hendrickx - Women and girls on the autism spectrum.
Alicja is looking for a partner and a friend. The theme of forming and maintaining interpersonal relationships is an ongoing journey. Women on the autism spectrum are often among the most loyal companions, both in friendships and romantic partnerships. Once they build a relationship, they strive to sustain it, avoiding the whims of frequent changes – they can be relied upon. The challenging part for them is the stage of getting to know someone and maintaining relationships as understood by neurotypical individuals.
Love does not elude women on the autism spectrum; they also have needs for closeness in all its dimensions. Literal understanding of statements and comments, as well as difficulty in reading social cues from their environment, can be stumbling blocks. The opportunity for love may be missed due to societal shortsightedness. At other times, a woman on the spectrum may see a potential partner where one does not exist.
During an interview, one woman on the autism spectrum shared a story from her adolescence when she unwittingly exposed herself to ridicule by not understanding a metaphor about sexual excitement upon seeing someone attractive – "She has jelly in her panties. What jelly? What does this jelly mean?"
It's important for Alice to have support and guidance in her search for a partner, if and when her time comes and if she desires it. It's worth mentioning that some individuals on the spectrum are asexual, and that's perfectly okay too. Women on the autism spectrum may have a tendency to hyperfocus on their object of affection. The need for a one-on-one relationship can be so strong that it becomes a topic to work through in therapy sessions. Establishing healthy boundaries in relationships can also be a challenge. For many, couples therapy may be a real challenge but also a necessity.
Seeking answers to questions such as "Where is my boundary? Where is my partner's boundary? What can be attributed to my fault and what to my partner's fault? Do I understand the situation socially?" is an essential part of therapy. Objectification by the therapist brings many benefits to both partners, because in the end, they both aim for the same goal - one's happiness equals the happiness of the other.
At the same time, it is worth noting that many women on the autism spectrum become victims of violence by partners who exploit their atypical reality, so it's important to keep this in mind.
The most important part of this complex puzzle is for Alice to find a partner who speaks "the same language" and accepts her as she is. I wish every Alice to meet her Mad Hatter and feel that she is in the right place at the right time.
“Alice Through the Looking Glass" - reżyseria Tim Burton
-2010 rok - Walt Disney Studios - Youtube
Peer violence / Mobbing
"Alice in Wonderland" - 1949 w reżyserii Dallas Bower
There will always be someone bothered by the uniqueness of girls on the autism spectrum. The prom queen, boss, or supervisor doesn't like it when someone doesn't conform. A girl on the autism spectrum, attached to rules and principles, often speaking her mind directly, may hear and feel that a strong group under a summoning wants to cut her off at the head. As in the referenced novel, Alice fights the know-it-all queen who, for reasons known only to herself, tries to ridicule her - to make her lose face in front of the group. Sometimes Alice says nothing and gets criticized for simply being there and not keeping up with the group. Chasing the White Rabbit is dizzying - it's easy to stumble, make a mistake, and become the target of ridicule. Peer violence, bullying, or mobbing is a daily reality for women on the autism spectrum.
How to deal with it?
I refer you to guides and websites aimed at helping individuals experiencing peer violence.
Children's Helpline - Global Web - Child help line international
You can find the contact details for a child helpline in your area by visiting their website and searching for the specific country.
Anti Bullying Alliance Org UK.
"Tea time all the time... "A Very Merry Unbirthday to You!"
Factors - triggers - overload...
"Alice in Wonderland" (1951) w reżyserii Hamilton Luske, Clyde Geronimi -Youtube
Women and girls on the autism spectrum often feel an uncontrollable urge to escape and withdraw from situations that many people find amusing and relaxing. One such example could be the idea of attending parties, such as birthday celebrations. When discussing this topic, they express feeling unnatural. The idea of meeting people who have no specific reason to gather and engage in small talk seems abstract to them. Additionally, the legendary sensory overload is a significant negative factor—parties are too loud, there are too many people, and there is too much happening at once. Many individuals on the spectrum dislike and aren't attached to presents and celebrations. Therefore, they often feel like saying, "A Very Merry Unbirthday to You!" and leaving the gathering.
Routine, I'm on "Yes".Please give me what's known/unchanging.
In stressful situations, the unconscious need for stability and consistency intensifies. It can take on an autodestructive/absurd level. For example, a stain on a favourite hoodie that requires washing can be something overwhelming and ruining the day. Like in the Vanish commercial, dedicated to people on the autism spectrum.
The need for consistency, which individuals on the autism spectrum are predisposed to, can lead to periodic decompensation of mental state, especially during vulnerable moments.
Here it is worth introducing the concept of a meltdown. A meltdown is an excessive emotional, behavioural, and physiological reaction that can be overwhelming for those around.
The frequency of meltdowns can potentially intensify during difficult times for most women and girls - during adolescence, postpartum, menopause, periods of variously defined changes, and during adaptive stress response.
In such situations, a simple change in the daily schedule, someone moving something on the desk at work, can destabilize and trigger a meltdown, leading to emotional overheating and outburst.
What does a meltdown look like in a woman on the autism spectrum? I invite you to watch a recording created by a woman on the autism spectrum who wanted to share her experiences.
Finding solace during moments of nervous system overload involves returning to the familiar and safe, while minimizing activating factors. Sometimes this means retreating to one's "temple" - spending time in one's own room, in silence and tranquillity, isolated with windows covered.
"Me and my thoughts - the world at a safe distance behind the door of my room." Sometimes comfort comes from rhythm and repetition - like listening to the same song thousands of times, drawing, or playing on the computer. Occasionally, it involves contact with a person with whom the girl or woman on the autism spectrum feels safe - such as physical contact, like hugging a loved one.
During a meltdown itself, there is often little that can be done. It's important to arm oneself with patience and wait it out, while also reflecting on how to structure activities in the future to minimize the chances of overwhelming the nervous system. We do what we can, and accept what cannot be changed.
How to find myself and the right path in "Wonderland"? I've lost my way...Where should I go, Cheshire Cat?
They often live alongside themselves. It happens that they are focused on their surroundings and what surrounds them, in relation to their person. They forget the most important thing, that this is their life and they have the right and duty to define their own life line.
At other times, the opposite happens: Women on the spectrum are so focused on acting in their own way that it harms them. Both situations can lead to overwhelm and daily fatigue. About 70% of people on the autism spectrum have co-occurring psychological problems and difficulties, including depression, dysthymia, anxiety, ADHD, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Many of these individuals struggle with resignation and suicidal thoughts. In these situations, non-intuitive help includes seeking assistance, including specialist help from psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists.
In conclusion...
Alice, you are unique in your definition within the autism spectrum and altogether...
Writing this post, I came across various adaptations of Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland." It has become an inspiration for creators of video games, movies, and more. What's remarkable about these adaptations is that each defines the same theme slightly differently. Similarly, it is with women on the autism spectrum - each of them is unique and has their own definition, level, and presentation of the autism spectrum - its bright and dark sides. It's important to remember this so as not to label or lump everyone into the same category - not to perceive them through the lens of a single definition.
I hope this post inspires and broadens knowledge on the topic of the autism spectrum. For those in need, I recommend seeking help - because it's worth it. Until the next post.
